Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts delivered a sermon that truly blessed me and opened my eyes to some deep truth. If you wanna check out the sermon, the link will be listed at the bottom of the page.
I'm no stranger in creating a system to better protect me. I created it when my heart was broken in the past, I have created that system in friendships and the list goes on. But listening to the sermon made me think of the negative effects of creating that system. The system was intended to protect me from not ever experiencing what took place, because a part of me never wanted to experience that kind of pain, hurt & shame ever again. But in the mist of me trying to protect myself, I also hinder God’s work in my life.
I remember experiencing my first heartbreak, and I came to the conclusion that men were trash and I never wanted to date them. But I had a desire to find a match, get married, start a family, the whole nine yard. But because I created a barrier around my heart. I did not allow anyone to pass through, and when I noticed a male individual attempting to do so, I would find reasons to deny my feelings for them. I pretty much found ways to sabotage my life. I had the desire to be great with someone and built a legacy, but the system I created almost ruined it. And I can remember God assuring me multiple times, that it was okay to open up and be vulnerable, and in return it would not cause me to have a broken heart, but what if i was not obedient to God’s word? Could you imagine the back and forth tuggle i would have been experiencing in my mind? I would have created an unsafe way of thinking and doing things, just to fit that system.
Now I am not here to act like I have it all together, but I can assure you that I am leaning on God’s word for wisdom before allowing any system to ruin me. Breaking part of that system led me to find my soulmate and live the life that I once dreamed and desired. Not to say it was easy, but I was willing. Another system I created was thinking if i just sit in the back or stay in my bubble then all will be well. But that would mean that I am not living to my fullest of potential. In all honesty that system is pretty convincing, it fits my life so well that I would have thought everything is exactly where it needs to be, but what happens when you start to feel like your life is not moving the way you want it to, better yet the way it should?
Creating Softlee Spoken and learning ways to be consistent at it, allows me to slowly break down the barriers of that system. Every time I want to go and hide, God pulls me out and creates a safe place for me. As quiet and shy of a person that I am, writing these words and every other blog that have been posted do not fit that description at all. When I am out of the presence of God, those around me can feel it, because my responses are way off. But when I allow myself to be and live to my fullest authentic potential,God’s peace rests and lives within me. It allows me to have a better response and be mindful of those around me. At this point you can technically say I am an open book, but honestly if God gets the glory, I don't mind it.
My prayer is that by sharing my story on this page, it will encourage others to not make the mistakes I made, or to know they are not alone. This journey is not the easiest( i know that for sure) but with willingness it gets better. So I encourage you to analyze yourself and find the systems you created and break them down brick by brick.
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